


Lack of Control

by wooperskai



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Canon Related, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wooperskai/pseuds/wooperskai
Summary: Sana is jealous but she's scared to admit it.
Relationships: Minatozaki Sana/Myoui Mina
Kudos: 133





	Lack of Control

**Author's Note:**

> Commissioned by kyokoriing on Twitter. Thank you! :)

Sana hated feeling jealous.

It was an ugly feeling.

Sana hated how her chest constricted and the way her stomach would drop. The way her heart would race with anxiety pumping through her blood and how she was unable to mask the annoyance that would cross her face. Sana wanted to always be in control of her emotions but jealousy took that control away, and Sana hated that.

When something bothered Sana, she wanted to express it so she could move on and push aside those negative emotions.

But it was difficult when it came to Mina.

Sana couldn't bring herself to release all the pent-up emotions swirling violently inside her onto Mina, even if Mina was the source of her distress. Sana maintained enough common sense to know none of this was Mina's fault.

However, that realization wasn't enough to prevent those wretched emotions from manifesting and dictating Sana's temperament.

"Sana, I love you and all, but I'm wondering when you're going to start sleeping in your own bed again," Momo spoke with a deadpanned expression as she looked over to left where Sana laid on her stomach watching some drama on her phone.

Sana made an indignant sound and jutted her bottom lip out but kept her eyes on her phone. "Why can't I? Jeongyeon isn't here that much since she's been sleeping at home more."

"Because you have your own bed. This isn't your room."

"You just want the bed to yourself."

Momo sighed and leaned over to lightly flick Sana's forehead, causing the latter to let out a whine. "You know that's not the point." Momo added more quietly. "This isn't like you. Are you really going to continue to avoid Mina like this?"

Sana's brow furrowed and she rolled onto her side with her back facing Momo. "You're starting to sound like Jihyo…"

"Because she would say the exact same thing. The atmosphere in the dorm has been heavy the past few days since you stopped talking to Mina. You're not the most subtle with your behavior when you're upset."

Sana let out a resigned sigh. Momo was right and Sana knew that. It was clear that Momo was speaking up because she was concerned about her two best friends and the awkward tension between them.

Sana knew it was her fault. Her and her inability to control her stupid emotions.

And yet…

"Momo, I'm going to yell at her. I can feel it. It's going to make everything worse…" Sana's voice was nothing more than a whisper. She buried her face into her hands. "I can't do that when Mina's finally back with us."

"But you can't let your frustrations build up inside you either," Momo tried to reason. She slid off the bed and walked around to kneel in front of Sana, flashing the other a reassuring smile to try and comfort her friend. "I'm not saying the right answer is to yell at Mina, but you're underestimating her. She's arguably the most mature among all of us. She won't like it if you raise your voice at her, but she'll understand there's a reason for it."

Again, Sana knew all this. She knew how Mina was. They've been together for years and Sana knew all the little nuances that made Mina tick and how Mina behaved.

Still…

"I'm craving some snacks. I'm going to go out and get some," Sana said abruptly and quickly got to her feet.

"Sana, wait-" 

Sana closed the door behind her and headed towards the room she shared with Jihyo, Nayeon, and Mina. Jihyo was staying at her family home like Jeongyeon. Nayeon was taking a nap, a light snore greeting Sana as she tiptoed into the room. Fortunately for her, Mina wasn't in the room, which was lucky for Sana, but it meant that she was in the living room. Sana wouldn't be able to avoid her. She grabbed her wallet and left the room, mentally preparing herself.

Sana made a conscious effort to head to the door without looking at anyone. Unfortunately, she still saw Dahyun and Mina sitting next to each other on the couch from her peripheral vision when she dashed by, feeling the jealousy constrict violently around her heart as a memory resurfaced. What was worse was that Sana could practically feel the disappointment coming from Mina's gaze while she was putting on her shoes.

It only made Sana leave the dorm faster, not saying a word to either Dahyun or Mina as she left.

Sana cursed at herself the entire walk to the convenience store. Why was she so terrible at conveying her emotions when it mattered? Why couldn't she be honest with Mina? With herself?

"Sana!"

Sana stiffened and came to a halt. She didn't have to look behind her to know that it was Mina calling her name. Sana took a deep breath. She couldn't run away anymore. Mina cornered her.

"Mina," Sana murmured almost inaudibly when she turned to face the younger woman.

Mina stepped closer until she stood right in front of Sana. Their eyes met. That's when Sana realized that Mina didn't look annoyed or angry with her. 

Mina looked… sad. 

"Why are you avoiding me?" Mina asked, her voice just as soft. "Did I do something wrong?"

Sana wanted to speak but her throat dried instantly as her nerves began settling in. All she could do was press her lips tightly together.

"Sana, we started dating not to long ago. I'm still learning how to be in a relationship. I want to fix whatever happened but I can't if you won't tell me what's wrong." Mina was watching Sana closely, but when Sana refused to speak and stayed frozen in place, Mina released a defeated sigh. "Fine. I get that you don't want to talk. I'll… head back to the dorm then."

The anxiety that was building inside of Sana was replaced by a surge of fear that shot out from Sana in the form of word vomit as she grabbed Mina by the wrist.

"I WAS JEALOUS."

Mina stared incredulously at Sana, blinking slowly. "J-Jealous?"

There it was. Sana finally said those three words. There was definitely no going back. "Do you remember when you were watching a movie with Dahyun a few nights ago?"

"I do," Mina said. Sana watched as Mina's eyes lit up with realization as she began piecing things together. "You're talking about when Dahyun and I both fell asleep on the sofa."

"Yeah… I found you asleep on Dahyun. You were nuzzling so close to Dahyun and your faces together, it made my chest tightened." Sana's cheeks were burning with shame at this point but she continued spilling everything in a barely coherent string of words. "It's dumb I know. You didn't mean to. Dahyunnie didn't mean to. I know there's nothing between you two. But I've never felt this kind of jealousy before and I didn't know how to process it, I was scared I would blow up my emotions on you and you'd find the reason to be stupid and be angry with me and then I became scared of losing you-"

Mina gently pressed a finger to Sana's lips, effectively silencing Sana. The next thing Mina did was wrap her arms around Sana and enveloped her in a warm hug that Sana welcomed. With a simple hug, the weight of Sana's worries slow began to lift from her body as she relaxed further in Mina's embrace. Sana buried her face in Mina's shoulder and blinking back her tears.

" _Aho_ ," Mina whispered affectionately, fingers combing through Sana's hair.

" _Gomen ne, Min_ a…" Sana apologized and squeezed Mina's frame. " _Gomen ne_ …"

"I'm not mad. I'm relieved it wasn't anything serious"

"I should have spoke up sooner."

"It would have made things easier." Mina chuckled softly and reached down to take Sana's hand into her own. "But you're learning just like I am. But now let's learn together maybe?"

Sana wiped her eyes and nodded, giving Mina a tiny smile and squeezing her hand. "I'd like that."

In the end, Sana didn't buy any snacks. She walked back to the dorm with Mina, their fingers perfectly intertwined. They found Momo waiting for them in front of their apartment door.

" _Tadaima_ ," Sana announced happily.

" _Tadaima_ ," Mina echoed with equal enthusiasm.

Momo noticed them holding hands and wrapped her arms around both of them.

" _Okaeri_!" Momo answered them with a smile of relief. "Everything okay now?

Sana glanced over at Mina, who gave her a sheepish smile then rested her head on Sana's shoulder. "Everything is more than okay. Everything is perfect."

**Author's Note:**

> I realized I'm really bad at writing in canon universe but I hope you all enjoyed the read anyway :)


End file.
